Welcome back to our latest interview where we’ve managed to convince the mammoth of a man, Kurt, to grace us with his presence, despite his apparent “enthusiasm” for Blitz and everything that comes with it. Today, we’re diving into his thrilling experiences, from his exciting travels in Japan to his unique coaching role with the Phoenix D. Get ready for a conversation that promises to be as riveting as Kurt’s deep love for his wife.

Episode 16 – Navigating the Blitz with Kurt

Could you please introduce yourself? Any memorable travel stories you’d like to share?
Hello. My name is Kurt and I’m just a normal guy that likes sports and video games, but not as much as I love my wife. My favorite travel memory was traveling around Japan a couple months ago with her. We got into a great conversation with some elderly Japanese women that wanted to work on their English. Their English was quite good! And my minor knowledge of Japanese and the Japanese accent helped fill in the cracks of conversation for a deeply enriching experience. I hope Ayaka and Tomo are living life to the fullest in their golden years!

Can you provide some insight into your relationship with Dan? How did this bromance begin?
I really don’t have a concrete memory of when Dan and I were officially friends, but he’s been an ever present force in my life. Easily the oldest friend that I am still in contact with. During Blitz’s golden years, Dan and I started to play games with each other. From there, we just kept in contact through the power of the internet as our lives changed so much around ourselves. Eventually one day we got to meet in person and it was glorious! Throwing an actual football between us was such a trip, knowing how it all started out.

Recently, many of us had the chance to watch your Trombone game stream. How did you come across that game, and are you still playing it? I might consider requesting a trombone recording as part of the new Blitz podcast’s intro and outro.
Trombone Champion is a way of life. Just a fun and simple rhythm game that allows a lot of creativity amongst the community due to the analog mouse input. It also scratches the itch of having just the right amount of memeage. It’s a fantastic game if you don’t take things too seriously. One of my irl friends suggested I give the game a try, as I have a habit of suggesting meme songs on his twitch streams. I saw the trailer and was hooked immediately, it was perfect for me. I play it every once in a while to scratch that smooth brain itch. I would love to give you a recording, just give a song suggestion and I’m sure there’s a community made custom song for it. I still have an IOU that says that I’m allowed to do the National Anthem for this season’s Super Bowl as well. If that is still valid, I hope to redeem that ticket to bring Trombone Champ to the masses during prime time. (Absolutely, I look forward to the national anthem and will hit you up in the near future!)

I know you’re eager to dive into Blitz-related questions so what were your initial thoughts on being drafted by the Monopoly Men this season, and what factors led to your eventual trade?
I didn’t really have much experience with anyone on the team before my drafting, so I wasn’t too sure how things would go. I have a pretty limited schedule to begin with, and I let that be known on my sign up. I think the trade primarily happened because I couldn’t really provide time to practice for half games in the end, so that’s definitely on me, as I’m the one that signed up. I underestimated what a chore it was to play blitz in a league format, and I apologize for that miscalculation. Who knows if the half game strategy would have worked in the end, but with it shifting the game plan dramatically offensively and defensively, I was highly skeptical of it working out in the end.

In a hypothetical scenario where you had more playing time with Wck and Money, how do you think your season would have unfolded?
My former skills speak for themselves I think, which is why I went 2nd round with hardly any availability. I’m a top tier RB and cover when I play. The Monopoly men would be a better team. I’m not sure how much better, but they’d have been better in the end. More importantly though, my sanity by playing a full season while also practicing for hours a week would have never recovered. So I’m somewhat glad it didn’t happen. I could have gotten to know WCK and Money a lot better though. Which is my only real regret, because they’re both great guys. It sounds like they’ve gotten so much better as the season has progressed, and it would have been fun to get good together.

As a current member of Phoenix D, you’ve played in two games so far. How do you assess those performances, and did you find any particular satisfaction in competing against your former team?
I was brought in for a singular purpose, to help CJ and company find their mountain. As the self appointed team Strength/Conditioning/Spirituality Coach, I am really just here to help these guys produce the best that they can without shortcuts. I hope we can all find our mountain one day, so that we can conquer it and become better in the process. I think I’ve done quite well in the 2 games I filled in for, I produced an appropriate amount in the games, but more importantly, allowed Rar and CJ to excel. In truth, since I’m so detached from the Blitz community these days, I forgot who we were playing until I got on to warm up before the game. It’s not like I got to play too much with them anyways, so it was like playing all the other teams where I have no clue who any of them are. No real juicy revenge story to be had for you unfortunately.

Your Phoenix D is set to face Huevo Picantes in the first round of the playoffs. What are your thoughts on this matchup, and do you have any strategies for scoring against a defensively focused team?
I have no idea who is on that team but I like their name. But in general, its the same game plan as always, score more points than you let up. If they’re a strong defensive team, then you have to make time of possession matter most. So grinding offense can really make a world of difference. Turnovers will dictate the game when points are at a premium. And of course, never be afraid to take the 3 points and move on with your life.

One often-overlooked aspect of your contributions this season was your role in the commentary booth during the first week. You did an excellent job. Is there a possibility we might see you return to the booth in the future?
I did hundreds of games during my tenure with Zealot Hockey, so it was nice to return to the casting booth after such a long time off. I don’t have the time I used to have when I was a single man in college though, so likely not. One nice component about online esports is how varied the stream styles can be. The classic couch style cast dates back to some of the oldest esports streams online, but I prefer the more professional sounding game call that mimics a real production of sports on TV and radio. A play by play caster with a color commentator. It’s a fun back and forth between the two and when the chemistry is good between them, it really engages with the audience the best. There’s definitely room for all styles though, and it’s probably best to have the variety for viewers.

The debate for this season’s Offensive Player of the Year is heating up, particularly among WRs such as CJ, Wck, and Duxor. Who do you believe deserves the award, and what are your reasons for this choice?
I’m in such a unique position because I got to play with both CJ and WCK. I not sure who Duxor is, but I’m sure his game is great too if he’s being mentioned with both of those guys. I know that WCK used to work really hard to continue to improve his catching by playing other custom obs type games, which is super impressive. CJ has that veteran savy about himself though; Coming back into the league with hardly any practice and carving up defenses all season. I’m not sure what all of the stats say, but the real answer should be hidden somewhere in there. My current Blitz paycheck says that it’s CJ all the way though. CJ will find his mountain.

Finally, can we expect you to sign up for Season 3? Also, thank you for taking the time to join us for this interview. If there’s anything you want to get off your chest or any shoutouts you’d like to send, the floor is yours. Sign us out, Captain Kurt!
Absolutely not. I wish y’all the best though! My only shoutout is to my wife, who reminds me every day that I really did roll a nat 20 when I met her.